You Wouldn't Understand

If you fall from the tree and hit yourself, it hurts. We all know that. But If our culture was different and we understood pain to be growth, would it still hurt as much?

People like to say "Pain is Weakness leaving the body." Others similarly say "No Pain, No Gain." Granted this may be true here but what if there was no growth without pain in any facet, ever? Or maybe, that's already true, we just refuse to acknowledge it. Or we have become so desensitized we no longer see it.

Haven't you ever noticed your hair hurts just a bit when you comb it. Or how when you learn a new skill the frustration of learning it stung a little.

Anything worth doing is worth getting hurt for. So maybe sadness should not accompany pain. Rejection neither. In sports terms... the Yankees have 27 World Series. They are in love with winning. Being the best. The flipside? It's 27 out of 40 attempts... Since 1913. The Cowboys, Have 5 Super Bowls. Out of 8 tries. Since 1960. That being said, there will be more pain, but the joy will be that much sweeter once you are there.

Keep on trying. It's okay to hurt. It's okay to be sad. But bounce back and grow from it. Make it apart of you.

When you finally win, it will be that much sweeter.

The Thing is...

As the title says, the thing is... I have met the woman of my dreams. I could marry her today if she wanted to be so. No hesitation I would do anything for her. Problem is, she only exists in my mind now.

The woman of my dreams may not actually be as awesome as I remember. But my mind seems to think so and I can only listen to him, seems I can't stop him. Jerk.

The thing is, also... this so called woman of my dreams... she don't want me. So how can she be the woman of my dreams because that woman, she would want me. She would want everything for me. She would be devoted to me as I to her. She would support me as I do her. Everything. Harmony.

The thing is I met the woman of my dreams, and she didn't want me. So she was no longer the woman of my dreams... and now, I believe that dreams, they are just that.

I can't live without them. But I can't live for them either.

Today's happenings

I don't keep up with this enough so I will do a better job. Unfortunately that is my line for most everything. I hate that. For anyone who cares to read this, here it is, what matters to me today and the upcoming few days...

The NFL Draft starts on Thursday. I've been waiting all offseason for this.
Current TV is awesome. User inspired. And Jael de Pardo. Beautiful and talented.
I will make it back to the Philippines someday soon. Thanks Anthony Bourdain.
I need something to do the 1st week of May. Vacation wise.vOn a budget at that.
Is anyone interested in visiting Phoenix? I'm here at the moment, for the interim at least.
Why do I love coca cola so much.
The internet has done wonders for long distance friendships, and horrors for close ones. So whats the real value???

These are my random thoughts that I can actually share.

Got any answers or comments? Hit me at my email fsx925@gmail.com

I know no-one reads this but if you do, facebook me or email me...

A Message to You

The reality is your contrasts to what has unfortunately claimed my life are refreshing and a challenge. Befriending you would be like an kitten befriending a St. Bernard. For no other reason but having fun in a way that's all but lost to me.

Henry David Thoreau once said "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation." I refuse to be part of that mass. When I was a young sap of 21, that was my only acceptable outcome. To be non-conformist. To never give up on my ideals and beliefs. To simply be. Now? I work an office job that is great for the resume and hate. I am a victim of my own financial circumstance and I dream everyday something catastrophic would change the course of everyday life for everyone so that I could prove my worth. The true worth of a human in his environment. Not this made up worth we have developed within cyberspace, walls, cubicles, buildings and politics...

I've known all along that I can be something else. I want to enjoy my life and regret nothing. I am slowly leaning towards that. Getting to know someone like you would help. Knowing that people like you exist in this godforsaken world of ours helps me to remember. Helps me to reach out.

Reach for the heavens because even if you fail you will be amongst the stars. I will do that. I will be all I can to my content.

I honestly could not feel better and honestly do not know how to start. So for starters, everything that makes me unhappy within my control I will surely start there and by my 30th birthday, I will be at a point not even I could believe at this moment.